


Ephemeral

by TheDarkFlygon



Series: Prism (Pride-Themed Oneshots) [7]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Background Izumi Mitsuki/Nikaidou Yamato/Rokuya Nagi, Bisexual Male Character, Brotherly Love, Character Study, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, Headcanon, LGBTQ Themes, One-Sided Izumi Iori/Nanase Riku, Personal Growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24616096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkFlygon/pseuds/TheDarkFlygon
Summary: Serenity isn't a feeling Iori feels often. He, however, remembers every instance of it.
Relationships: Izumi Iori/Takanashi Tsumugi
Series: Prism (Pride-Themed Oneshots) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769908
Kudos: 6





	Ephemeral

**Author's Note:**

> Today's prompt was "Serenity" so, unlike the other days, I was super on-the-nose about it. My hommages to Godsmack.  
> For this story, I of course picked my bi Iori headcanon ft. my underrated gem of an OTP. The setting here is the one I'll be using for a story called "Vanilla Spice", albeit with one aspect removed.  
> Most of it is just gratuitous shipping stuff because lmao that fandom ain't gonna provide it for me, I'm afraid. I said it before and I'll say it again: I'll keep this ship alive even if I need to be on my own to do it.

Serenity is something as ephemeral as a butterfly’s life once it’s out of the chrysalid, yet too beautiful not to admire once it comes around. Just like a beautiful insect, it’s fragile and fleeing and, sometimes, is gone before someone can realize they were being serene for a moment, as short-lived as it was.

Iori is, however, the sort of people who always realizes it when serenity comes to his life for a short while. He’s always been too anxious, too easily to stress out not to notice when all he feels is tranquillity, bliss and a rare sense of peace of mind. This makes the stark difference between his usual state of mine and serenity too obvious, too _glaring_ not to notice. Not that he minds being able to be able to make the most out of a rarer state of inner peace, obviously.

Once upon a time, he’d never find serenity in any place of his life. It was usually too far away while questions kept dragging him deeper and deep into a black sea of self-doubt, questions that he’d never find satisfying answers to. Who was he? What did he want to do in life? Was he allowed to like cute things or was that too outlandish for someone as “cool and sharp” as society designated him to be? Who did he like? Who did he love like a sibling, like a friend or in that strange way every piece of fiction seemed to depict?

Every one of these questions was hard to find answers to, albeit comparisons sometimes helped him out of some pits. He could compare the way he felt towards some people to the way he loved his older brother and realize these people he loved platonically, as friends or as siblings he’d never biologically have (not that he needed anyone but his big brother, the person who had been by his side as soon as he was born). He eventually realized what he wanted to do the most was to help people shining like Mitsuki, be it by allowing them to unveil their full potential, by putting his above-average aptitudes to their benefit, or by offering, sometimes, a shoulder to cry on while he’d struggle to keep his tongue in.

Iori has never been perfect, of course. He knew that from a young age and, well, didn’t take kindly to that concept. He’d be as perfect as possible, as to always be a pillar people could rely on while he’d just gently push into the back of his mind the questions he couldn’t find easy answers to. They always had a reason for him not to give them his attention: second-grade, time-consuming, inefficient, plain useless for some. He simply didn’t need them around and, for the longest time, until the doubts really came to the surface, it was doing it very well for him.

One of these questions was about a concept he never gave a lot of thought about until he was late into his teens: his sexuality.

How did that charade start? Well, the easiest would be to answer another question: when. Truth be told, Iori was already in college when, due to less numerous classes and less questions to answer otherwise (he wanted to be a teacher, he was sure of it now), the question hit him over the head again and again when he was trying to sleep or to reply to a simple question: _so, guys or gals?_

The most obvious, to him, was actually to reply he liked guys the way most girls liked them (Kimidori being a solid outlier constantly reminding him that some girls just liked girls the way most guys did). It’s easier to state when his first crush was on redheaded, red-eyed, overall cute Nanase in high school. A crush that didn’t pan out into anything concrete, as he never spoke about it and just watched the sparkling Nanase become an online sensation thanks to his amazing singing voice.

But that answer didn’t quite cut it. At first, it did, because Nanase’s voice stuck with him, and Mitsuki was telling him it was a familiar feeling (the fact he was already dating Yamato, back then, helped his case tremendously), defending him whenever his darker thoughts would come back, reassuring him as Nagi was entering the picture to; and yet, even with his brother’s reassure that he’d sometimes get over his doubts, something else was, for the first time, contradicting him quite directly.

And that’d have been the feelings that, once the blossoming love for Nanase he had sheltered in his chest began to wither away as they simply became very good friends, Iori began to cultivate for someone else entirely.

Takanashi Tsumugi was, like Nanase, a year older than him and, unlike Nanase whose parents were kind of dirt-cheap and terrible at management, the popular (and only) heiress to the Takanashi Estate, an important family business. In fact, she technically managed the residence he was living in during his studies. She herself called it “training for her future job as a manager!” and she didn’t look any unhappy about it unless papers were starting to pile up. He’d help her with them, sometimes, when he found some time on her schedule.

However, what was supposed to merely putting his services to the interest of their residence gradually shaped itself into something else altogether. Before he really realized it, Iori found solace in spending time with her, forgetting most of his dark thoughts when he was focusing on cleaning up documents, filling forms, researching information, and talking with her.

Like with Nanase, he started to mentally write down details he’d notice about her. He soon knew what her favourite coffeeshop drink was (albeit you could attribute that to her being a regular at the place where he worked, which he sure did for a time. In all cases, it was a vanilla macchiato, and she liked it warm rather than iced), her class schedule (mostly because she mentioned it a lot when calculating the time she could spend on management outside university work), what colours of nail polish she liked the most.

Iori figured it was starting to get creepy when he’d miss the scent of her vanilla fragrance, then, well, of her skin, her own scent, the one not even science could reproduce; and yet, Mitsuki, with an empathic smile and nothing but comforting words to give him, only introduced him to the concept that he could simply be attracted to both genders and, well, be in love with her now.

It made sense. Too much sense, in fact, and it almost sent him for a destructive loop.

It took him a pneumonia he hadn’t seen coming to really admit to himself Mitsuki’s words were true. While he was down, stuck in bed with nothing but all of his emotional walls shattered and a weak parody of a voice to speak to people with, _she_ was there. And oh goodness _was she there_.

Takanashi more or less took care of him for most of it (Mitsuki and his brothers-in-law would try dropping by as much as possible, but they were all busy man, even busier than he had been before his lungs got flooded), making sure to follow doctor’s orders, buying medicine out of her own pocket, telling him stories whenever she’d notice he was having a hard time falling asleep, giving him her time while her smile was hiding underneath a mask. He’d crave her presence whenever he was awake and she had her own life to take care of and that’s when he stopped denying it. 

To his surprise, instead of bringing him pain, it gave him a sense of _serenity_.

Sure, it lasted for only a day or two while he was recovering, while she could finally show up without a mask as his voice recovered; but it was a bliss like he’d rarely experienced. It quickly got replaced with the stress of college, a part-time job, having to deny Kimidori’s truthful accusations of him being infatuated with a regular and dealing with said infatuation.

However, the sweet taste of serenity had already installed itself and it was too late for him, way too late. He was too far gone and the hints he thought he could see, from the way she spoke to him with soft words, the smiles she’d offer him, would simply make it worse. Maybe she felt this way towards him too? That was unlikely, but man did everything in the world, starting with himself, wanted to believe that tabloid-tier story.

It, ironically, turned out that Iori’s impression on that front had been wrong.

Nothing could have prepared him for it. Sure, this was quite the Saturday afternoon: they had spent lunch together, then went to get some drinks at his workplace (Kimidori served them with way too much attention for him not to ask about it, but she dismissed them with a hand wave and a mischievous smirk), and, for the first time, he was seeing her own flat in the residence. It was about the size of his, albeit he could see it was deeply personal: the walls were decorated with idol posters, sticky notes and timetables while the smell of her perfume filled the air.

Suddenly, almost as if nothing had announced it’d be coming, she spat her confession at him, cheeks radiating with red hues, while his couldn’t have looked much paler than hers. The commotion and clash of feelings almost made his head spin and cause his consciousness to leave his body but, once the initial shock had seeped, they held hands and, instantly, something else clicked. Euphoria, bliss and relief all came back, washed over him like when he had gotten his other epiphanies, except this one was real.

And, well, knowing Tsumugi loved him the way he loved her gave him a sense of serenity again.

Of course, even after going steady, life wasn’t so simple. People tried to flirt with them when they weren’t displaying their affection in public (which neither of them liked to do: she was a manager, he was a teacher, they both had a professional image to keep up with). Hardships rose: work hours, illnesses, social pressure to marry, questions with no answer, insecurities.

None defeated them, in the end. Sure, they eventually made their relationship public and had to go through the classic “meeting the parents” charade. Before he could let Tsumugi meet his, however, he made sure to come clean about, you know, having been gay to the eyes of his family at some point. He expected her to at least frown at the sudden revelation he should’ve found the courage to give her before; yet all she did was to smile she always did, pick up his hand, and tell him they’d talk about pretty boys one of these days.

Man, he just loved her so much.

The one social clause they eventually gave into was to marry. They were already in the second half of their twenties when they decided they liked each other’s presence a little too much not to make it official in the law’s eyes too. In their professional lives, nothing would change but a ring on a finger, as they kept their maiden names not to confuse people. However, to the eyes of the matrimony, they gave each other’s surname and it was all fine that way.

Marriage gave Iori another sense of serenity once he had gotten over the anxiety of proposing, planning a ceremony, writing down an invite list and actually throwing the thing. Once again, the mix of bliss, euphoria and peace of mind filled the air around him, around them. This serenity wasn’t solitary, quite the opposite: it was theirs to seize, theirs to take, more than ever.

In the end, he’s more than aware than the serene phase he’s experiencing right this moment, by her side as they enjoy a quiet time by a river, feet swimming in the clear water as they either chat lightly or sink into a comfortable silence, hands so near each other that they keep tangling without them really realizing it anymore, is going to be short-lived. Soon, they’ll go to their daily lives where stress and anxiety is out to get everyone at least once in their day, whether it be because they just got thrown into a stressful situation, are victim of unjustified hatred, or merely because they may have forgotten to turn off the bathroom’s lights before leaving for work.

Their lives will change soon, after all. They won’t always be expecting parents, he knows it, since they’re bound to see a new life come into this world whom they’ll need to protect as parents until they can fly on their own. When the day will come, the peace will be replaced with a storm to fight against and, as much as he doesn’t like change, for once, Iori can say he’s at least wanted it and that he’s a little impatient, now that there’s less than a month ahead.

But, you know, sometimes, you can look forward to the future while profiting from the present time’s delights, serenity being one of these.


End file.
